Sad is Happy for Deep People
by crimson11petrichor
Summary: The Doctor doesn't want to be alone...but can he conscionably bring anyone with him, knowing he's putting their lives in jeopardy?


10th Doctor third-person POV with Sally Sparrow, sequel to One Day as a Lion. I hope you enjoy :)

Series:  
1 - One Day as a Lion: /OYKmlo  
2 - **Sad is Happy for Deep People  
**3 - Life is What you Make of It: /OYKMrS

* * *

**Sad is Happy for Deep People**

"You can't be serious!" the Doctor exclaimed.

Sally shook her head. "One hundred percent," she assured him.

"_Eight _Graskes surrendered to you!?" The Doctor was baffled.

"You said it yourself, they're pacifists. They're only bold when they have no opposition." She took a bite of her pudding, looking pleased with herself.

_She's a clever one, _he thought, and watched her gaze at the bustling New New York street outside the patio they sat on. Her eyes were wide with wonder—the best part of traveling with a companion, in the Doctor's opinion. He relished these moments. He knew he wouldn't be able to take her with him next time. _It's too big a risk,_ he thought. _I won't lose someone—not again._ _I have to travel alone. _He saw her look back at him, and her awe flickered, giving way to concern. _She's observant. _He plastered a grin on his face. "So, tell me about yourself, Sally Sparrow!"

Sally blushed and averted her gaze. "I'm pretty ordinary," she told him.

"Humour me," he insisted. "I've never met an ordinary person before. I'm curious." He smirked, knowing she was anything but.

She smiled mischievously and leaned her elbows on the table. "Okay, but in exchange, you have to tell _me _about _your_self. I know you're close to 1000 years old, so the abridged version is fine, but you _did_ promise me some stories yesterday."

The Doctor hesitated slightly. He recalled the questions he had agreed to answer. _I guess I owe her at least that..._ "Deal," he told her and leaned back in his chair.

Sally took a big, nervous breath and began. "I don't know...my parents live in Welwyn, I have a brother named Tim...He's in school for engineering, he's doing really well. I never rightly knew what I wanted to do with my life, though. I studied photography for a while, and history, but after a few semesters I basically just worked in shops. Larry and I run that used book and DVD store. That's been my life."

"You don't seem the type of person to be happy staying in one place."

"No, I don't suppose I am. When your path finally crossed with mine, I thought I felt closure, I thought that would be what I needed in order to settle down, but it wasn't long before I realized I didn't _want_ to settle down. I loved Larry, but I didn't want the same things as him."

"...Loved? Past tense?"

Sally blushed. "I suppose so. It seems it's been a while since thinking of him inspired fondness rather than panic. I think I just stayed with him out of...nostalgia? I missed Kathy, and her brother was my last link to her. He's a good man, but simple. He has no aspirations, no dreams...he's happy in a monotony I can't bear...but then I think of leaving, and I feel bad. I'm all he has. But I can't live my life for someone else...every avenue kills me."

The Doctor nodded. Sally looked a little embarrassed. She smiled at him—a valiant effort, it seemed. "Your turn," she told him.

The Doctor sighed. _Where to begin? _"My life's pretty long and complicated. I think most of my exposition is best done as it becomes relevant, but here's the gist of it—I was married a long time ago, had a small family, traveled for a time with my grand daughter, Susan. She eventually settled down and raised a family of her own—two sons and a daughter—on Earth, actually, but a future Earth."

"Is she still there?" Sally asked.

"I'm not certain," _I'm afraid to look..._ "but I don't think so. Like I said, my entire race perished—in a war with the Daleks, actually—and I doubt she escaped that fate."

Sally nodded, and mercifully did not pry...but he knew her next question, and he knew answering it would hurt just as much.

She asked with some hesitation. "If there's a better time to ask, I understand...but I'd like to know what happened to your friend."

The Doctor nodded. "Well, friends, really..." He looked at her sadly. "I'll tell you about the most recent ones, if that's okay, but telling you about everyone would take far too long for one sitting." Sally nodded solemnly and leaned in closer.

The Doctor sighed. "Well, when you and I met, there was Martha...After her came Donna...Before her was Rose." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Rose met me when I was...quite different, you might say. Bit hard to explain, I'll get to it later. She was..._so_ human. I traveled with her for a long time. We had _such _adventures...and then she got pulled into an alternate universe. The Battle of Canary Wharf, she almost fell into the void, and her...well, alternate-reality father, he snatched her at the last second." He paused, thinking of Rose for a moment, then continued sadly. "I loved Rose. I never told her...not properly, anyway, but she knew. It was kind of a shock to me, actually. It's been...a really long time since I fell in love with someone.

"Directly after that, I met Donna. She helped me defeat the Racnis, but she didn't want to come with me at that time.

"Then, I met Martha! The day the hospital floated into the sky, do you remember? She was clever and brave...diplomatic, too. She could really move a crowd, as it turned out. But...I was too upset about losing Rose to notice how amazing Martha was. I took her for granted, and she didn't stick around. I still see her, now and again, though. She's very happy." He smiled. _One happy ending, at least._

The Doctor continued. "Not long after Martha left, I was investigating Adipose, and who should I run into but Donna! What a coincidence, I thought! Only it wasn't. All of the timelines converged on her. I had thought her ordinary, but I could _not _have been more wrong. She was a great help to me—she was my best friend. But in the end, though it broke my hearts, I had to erase her memory of me." He broke his melancholy for a moment as he described what had occurred, "she experienced an instantaneous biological meta crisis, the result of which was a copy of me that was human, and that _she _became part time lord. The part, however, was her mind—and a human brain doesn't have the required capacity to deal with a time lord mind." He sobered, remembering his last moments with Donna. _Binary, binary, binary... _"She was dying, and the only way for me to save her was to put every memory of what we'd done together into dormancy and hope that, if I stayed away, she would be safe." Sally's eyes reflected the sorrow he felt. He tried to smile, and carried on.

"Then just before the Master—you might know him better as Harold Saxon—tried to take over the world, and Gallifrey appeared in the sky, d'you remember? Well, Donna's grandfather, Wilf, he found me. He helped me stop the Master...and then the Master helped me save Wilf, who was trapped in a chamber that was about to be flooded with radiation. The very last time I saw the Master was when he stepped into the chamber and let Wilf out. He absorbed the radiation, and we left unscathed. I don't know where the Master is now...I don't know if he's alive or dead. But I owe him a debt. I would have had to take that radiation, in his place—I would have died. Well...not truly, but the man I am would have been gone, and another man would have taken my place, and I wasn't ready for that. I've...I've made mistakes I'd like to atone for. I'd like to be better, and I owe him for giving me that chance."

Sally nodded sympathetically. Then something seemed to occur to her. "Doctor...who did you think summoned you when you came to see Charlie?"

"Woman by the name of River Song," the Doctor answered. "I guess she knew me for quite some time, but I'd only just met her." The Doctor looked at Sally, "Like I said when _we _met, things don't always happen to me in the right order. Anyway, she called me using the paper. I got the impression she does that often."

"And where is she?"

He looked down. "Dead," he told her soberly, "to save me."

Sally looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry," she told him.

He offered her a weak smile, and then pondered the strange River Song, who had known him so well. "Though if she knew me before, I guess I'll see her again..."

Sally looked at him in awe. "How do you keep all the timelines straight?"

The Doctor tapped the side of his head. "It's all in here. That's how I see the world." He looked up at her, grinning, "I can see all points in time, all that was or ever will be."

Sally frowned. "It must be awful."

The Doctor was startled by her insight. "Yeah, it can be a bit much," he admitted, "but it can be _so _wonderful, too." He smirked at her.

She smiled back at him. "Can you tell me about some of your adventures?

The Doctor beamed at her. "Oh yes!" he exclaimed gleefully.

. . .

The Doctor and Sally spent the rest of their day talking as they explored the city, lying in fields of apple grass, and finally watching the twin moons of New Earth rise. Sally was obviously thrilled with the trip—and obviously exhausted by the end of it. She followed the Doctor sleepily back to the TARDIS, and nodded off despite herself as the Doctor piloted the vessel back to her doorstep. He woke her gently. "We're home."

Sally rubbed her eyes and smiled sleepily as he escorted her to the door. As she stepped over the threshold, she turned around. "Who will you be traveling with this time?"

The Doctor frowned. "No one," he told her. _I can't lose anyone else..._

Sally looked concerned. "I think you should reconsider that," she told him. "I heard your stories today. I think you need someone. Someone to help you—or maybe, someone to stop you sometimes."

Donna's words echoed in the Doctor's head. _I don't need anyone, _he had said to her. _Yes you do, _she had insisted, _because I think sometimes you need somebody to stop you._ The Doctor lost himself in thought momentarily. He remembered Mars; the Racnis; every time his hubris had nearly ended him, and the friends he'd had—or not had—there to stop him. _Donna was right..._ He knew it was true. He'd been given a second chance—one that he in no way deserved. He needed someone to make sure he didn't blow it. He looked at Sally and grinned. "Have anything planned for tomorrow?"

Sally beamed and shook her head emphatically. "My schedule's wide open!"

"Feel like taking a trip with this old thing?" He gestured to the TARDIS, but he actually meant himself.

Sally smiled. "I love old things," she answered. "they make me feel sad." The Doctor was crestfallen, but Sally walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sad is happy for deep people," she explained, smiling at him warmly.

His eyes lit up and his expression changed to an exuberant grin. "Go on, then," he told her, nodding toward the TARDIS' open door. Sally bounded inside, and with one last, fond look at London's fading twilight, the Doctor followed.


End file.
